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The ‘Ifs’ in Life: “If Only” and ‘What If.”

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It happens to all of us. You’re lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, running through the endless loop of things you should have said, things you should have done, things you’re terrified might happen. Anxiety is like that uninvited guest who overstays their welcome, raiding your mental fridge and leaving crumbs of worry everywhere. It consumes your energy, disrupts your sleep, and turns your days into a blur of stress.

And here’s the thing—most of what we’re worried about is out of our control. We’re stuck trying to rewrite the past or play fortune-teller with the future. Neither option works. Yet we keep doing it, as if this time, just maybe, overthinking will actually solve something.

The Two Traps: Yesterday and Tomorrow

Let’s start with the past. We replay old mistakes like they’re our favourite sad songs on repeat. If only I hadn’t said that. If only I’d made a different decision. If only I could go back. But the past is a closed door. No amount of knocking will reopen it. And yet, how often do we keep pounding on it, hoping for a do-over?

Then there’s the future. Oh, the future. We’re so good at crafting elaborate disaster scenarios. What if I fail? What if they leave? What if everything falls apart? It’s like we’re starring in our own personal horror movie, only we’re also the writer, director, and audience.

Both traps—the past and the future—leave us paralyzed. One keeps us chained to regrets; the other drowns us in “what ifs.” And in the meantime, we’re missing what’s happening right now—the only moment we can actually live in.

Breaking Free: The Power of the Present

So, how do we stop? How do we silence the voice of anxiety long enough to breathe again? The answer isn’t complicated, but it takes practice: we must focus on the present.

Jesus once said, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” That’s not just good theology—it’s good psychology. Living in the present doesn’t mean ignoring our past or pretending the future doesn’t exist. It means choosing to anchor ourselves in what we can actually do something about today.

Here are a few ways to start:

1. Name Your Worries: Sometimes, just saying your fears out loud can take away their power. Write them down or share them with someone you trust. You’ll often find they’re not as big as they seemed in your head. In Philippians 4:6, we are instructed, “Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God.” 

2. Do What You Can, Let Go of the Rest: Ask yourself, “What can I do about this right now?” If the answer is nothing, then it’s time to let go. Trust God, trust the process, and trust that not everything needs to be figured out today.

3. Practice Gratitude: Worry thrives on scarcity—the belief that something essential is missing. Gratitude reminds us of the abundance already in our lives. Start small. Thank God for a gentle smile, a kind word, or the beauty of a sunset.

4. Reconnect with What Grounds You: Whether it’s prayer, a walk in the park, or time with loved ones, find the practices that bring you back to the centre. These moments remind us that we’re not alone and that life is more than our worries.

The Gift of Right Now

Life is messy and unpredictable, but it’s also full of beauty—and we miss so much of it when we’re stuck in the past or fixated on the future. The laughter of a friend, the warmth of sunlight on your face, the satisfaction of completing a small task, and the quiet strength of knowing you’re loved remind us that life is happening now, not in the past or the future.

The poet Mary Oliver once wrote, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” It’s a question worth pondering. If we’re always looking backward or forward, we miss the chance to live fully in the present. And the present, fleeting and imperfect as it may be, is where our power lies.

Anxiety will try to pull you back into the loop of “what if” and “if only.” But every moment you choose to stay present is a moment anxiety loses its grip.

Moving Forward with Hope

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to have everything figured out. You don’t have to fix the past or control the future. All you need to do is show up today—with all your doubts, fears, and questions—and trust that grace will meet you here. The past may inform us, and the future may inspire us, but neither should define us.

The next time you feel anxious or overwhelmed, pause. Take a breath. Remember that while you can’t control everything, you can choose how you respond right now. And often, that’s enough.

Because here’s the truth: the present is a gift. And when we embrace it, we find the strength to navigate whatever comes our way.


David Simpson is the Community Care Pastor at Parliament Community Church in Regina, SK, located near Harbour Landing. As a church, we offer programs for all ages, from children to youth, young adults to Seniors who are part of our Heritage groups. We are also diverse in cultural backgrounds but share a desire to grow as disciples of Christ together.

Graphics used with permission from Canva Pro. Granted a non-exclusive, non-transferable, and revocable license to use the designs, images, and elements provided within Canva Pro for commercial and personal use, subject to the terms outlined in the Canva License Agreement. We have permission to use the content in marketing materials, social media, websites, presentations, and more.