There’s a value I hold dear—one that has been shaped over the years as I’ve walked alongside
family and friends, even when they made choices that weren’t ideal. As February often serves as
a reminder of love, I wanted to share this with you: I may not always agree with you or your
choices, but I will walk alongside you, no matter what.

For years, I struggled with supporting my friends, especially when I knew their decisions
weren’t great (whether due to being sinful or simply not wise in my eyes). Was I loving the
person while hating the sin? Was my presence in their life-affirming their decisions? Honestly, I
didn’t know. But as I’ve come to understand love more deeply, I’ve realized that I can love you
without agreeing with you. I can show up, hold your hand, offer my thoughts (I’m still learning),
and yet not agree with you. Because when I look back at my own life, I realize that when I made
less-than-ideal choices, I didn’t need condemnation or judgment. What I needed was someone to
simply be there—to walk with me as the consequences unfolded or the relationship crumbled,
even if it never should have started in the first place.

This is also why, at times, I tell my kids and my husband, “I love you, but I don’t like you right
now.” I know it sounds harsh, but I want my kids to understand the difference between love and
like. You can love someone—even when you don’t agree with them—and still choose to show up
for them, even when it’s difficult. I want them to know that, no matter where life takes them, I
will always be there to walk through it with them. And I want them to understand that in
marriage, we won’t always “like” our spouse. They will frustrate us, and they may even cause us
pain. Yet, we can choose to love them, every day, despite that.

The world seems to believe that to truly love someone, you must agree with their choices, affirm
them, and tell them they’re doing a great job. And yes, maybe they are doing the best they can
with what they know. But 1 Corinthians 13 tells us: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not
envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the
truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Love isn’t about agreeing on everything. It’s not about warm, fuzzy feelings or the butterflies
you get when you think about someone. We’re human. We mess up. We make foolish decisions.
We do things we regret. Love is a choice. It’s showing up—even when you don’t like the person,
even when it’s hard, even when they make it difficult.

And this reflects how God loves us. He doesn’t focus on our wrongs or the times we mess
up—He looks for the good in us. He calls us to do the same with others. We don’t have to like or
even agree with someone’s choices, but we are still called to love them, as Matthew 12:31
reminds us.

If I’m being honest, I haven’t met many people (if any) who turned their lives around because
someone cut them off or refused to show up. We don’t change minds by issuing ultimatums or
pushing people away. We don’t have the privilege of truly knowing a person’s heart, which
means that when in doubt, we need to err on the side of love. I know I’d rather stand by someone in love than be the reason they turn away from Jesus—the reason His name leaves a bad taste in
their mouth.

At the end of the day, I’ll be there, regardless of whether I agree with you or your choices.
Because even if I don’t like you, I still love you. Love is a choice, and sometimes, that choice is
the one thing that makes all the difference.

Kristen Cowman is the Children & Families Director at Parliament Community Church in Regina, SK, located near Harbour Landing. As a church, we offer programs for all ages, from children to youth, young adults to Seniors who are part of our Heritage groups. We are also diverse in cultural backgrounds but share a desire to grow as disciples of Christ together.